Because the standard response, is "good". It's the expected reply. And when someone replies with, "I'm alright... well, I'm not gonna lie, I've been better", what should I say? It catches me completely off-guard (especially if it's a customer at work who I don't really know).
I've kind of decided lately that it's sorta just a way of being friendly and in some minute way showing that you care. Because if the response is, "I'm doing excellently" or something like that, you can rejoice with them. I have a much harder time when the response is negative though, as I mentioned before.
My standard response is, "I'm doing well, thank you, how are you?" I like saying "well" better than "good" because a) it's proper English, and b) I feel like "well" is a more accurate word to describe how I typically *am*... it's a better word than "good". Even if their definitions are technically very similar or the same, in my world I feel like "well" more describes my physical and over-all well-being, while "good" more describes me being happy. So I can say "I'm doing well" without feeling dishonest even if I'm not happy, because my body is fine and I really have no good reason to not be well.
My other semi-common responses include:
~ "I'm really great!" this means I'm very happy, probably for some specific reason.
~ "I'm goooood." this means I have to think about how I am, so I draw out the automatic word, thinking about how I'm feeling.
~ "I'm pretty good." this means I'm not all that happy.
~ "I'm alright." this means I am not happy, I may even be sad, and if you truly want to know how I'm feeling you should question me further.
I hate the dishonesty in this. I hate the open-endedness of the question and the fact that hardly anyone responds honestly. It's not an easy fixable problem.... but I can set out to try to be honest. So I will. I will try. And I will try to encourage others to be honest, too.
**
This is an old picture, from last year, but it's relevant because today I was missing my cello; I was wishing I still had it and could play some sad melodies.
I've thought about the good/well thing, but never really gone much farther than that...A response I wish I gave more often is, "I can't complain." It helps me remember that even if I'm not feeling so happy at the moment, my life is so full of blessings (my biggest problem is already solved!).
ReplyDeleteOn a funny note, when I'm scrolled down on the page like this to comment, I can see at the top a couple of recent post titles. I can see "ok guys..." and right above that "my hair." Of course, it's the end of the "birds of sadness have left my hair." but at first I was really confused: Emily wrote a whole blog about her hair?? :)
woah I was just thinking about this the other day?! weird.
ReplyDeleteOKAY EMILY: I'm gonna ask you how you are at CC and you'd better be honest! :)
btw i like your blog. :\