imperfections

This year, especially more recently, I've been realizing how imperfect the world is. Growing up as a homeschooler with 99% of my socialization happening at church or in homeschool co-ops, I had a picture of what I thought the world was in my mind. I knew there was bad stuff... sickness, crime, sin issues... but it wasn't real in *my* world, really. The picture I had of my personal world that I inhabit with those around me was really lovely for the most part, actually. Of course as I got a little older I realized more of what the whole world actually is, but it's never been closer to home than it has been this year. Now I look around at the people I see on a regular basis and have a hard time seeing a lovely picture, because everyone is filled with imperfection. And sometimes it's most disappointing to see it in the ones you had the highest respect for. Sometimes it's most disappointing when you look at yourself in the mirror and see imperfections there.

It's a fallen world, folks... it's a fallen world. And it's pretty tiring to live in it. And sometimes I wonder what the point is... is anyone ever getting anywhere? Or do they just keep falling and falling and falling again? If everyone is imperfect why should I feel bad about messing up? Why should I try not to?

Because I wasn't created with this fallen world in mind as my final home. This isn't my destiny. We get back up and keep stumbling along with a future in mind where there will be no more imperfection. Sometimes, I just wish it would come a little sooner.